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“Dune: Part Two”: A Very Sandy, Very Hot A

March 7, 2024
Comedian Nicky Paris reviews “Dune: Part Two.” Is it really just like “Shrek 2”?
Show transcript
00:00
Everyone is talking Dune two.
00:02
So we brought on comedian Nicky Perris to tell us how are
00:09
you? Good and you.
00:12
So he's gonna tell us a spoiler filled review on the Blockbuster
00:18
So I haven't seen the movie but our producers have some
00:22
questions for you. Oh,
00:23
well, I'm so excited to be here.
00:25
I got to see the movie yesterday and I enjoyed all
00:28
19 hours of it.
00:29
It was great. I bought snacks.
00:31
I had lunch and dinner during the showing and did you
00:34
see the original June?
00:35
I did, I saw the original,
00:36
I thought that was wrong.
00:37
Was this one longer than the one was two hours 45 minutes
00:40
The original Dune,
00:41
I saw three times and understood zero of it.
00:44
But dune two, I have to tell you I enjoyed it
00:48
Was it four hours of sand?
00:49
Yes. And do I feel like I might have mess up
00:51
the oma and be entitled to some compensation maybe.
00:55
So basically what's so exciting about this movie?
00:57
And I'm sorry for the spoilers is Paul?
00:59
I always get his name messed up.
01:00
Paul Aides, Paul Aides Achilles Heel,
01:02
something like that. Paul is Timothy Chala and he's the prophet
01:06
And in this film,
01:06
it picks up where the first film left off and it's about
01:09
the war between the freedom and the Hark hands,
01:11
which are the bald people.
01:12
And it was very entertaining and Timothy Chalamet,
01:15
which I just found out was his name.
01:16
I was saying Chalamet for the last four years.
01:18
Timothy Chalamet was incredible.
01:21
And it, and you know what an impressive do you think
01:23
Timothy Chloe could win a fight?
01:25
I, you know what?
01:26
I don't know, I mean,
01:28
like that's why I was gonna ask,
01:29
do you actually believe Timothy Chalo is like a tough guy?
01:32
Like I didn't because to me,
01:34
he, he's, I think he's sexy but I'd be afraid
01:36
to sleep with him because I could break him.
01:38
You know, I'm like double his side.
01:39
Like I'm like Khloe Kardashian,
01:41
he's Kylie and I,
01:42
you know, I could just snap him in half.
01:44
But I have to tell you I was nervous about seeing him
01:46
fight because he's so light and tiny.
01:48
I thought his biggest obstacle would be the wind,
01:51
but he was very impressive,
01:52
very real. And I was on the edge of my
01:55
seat. He did an amazing job.
01:57
There was a lot of interesting things that happened in the
01:59
movie. Like I remember from the first one,
02:01
the high priestess, she's like,
02:03
put your hand in the box and don't take it out and
02:05
you'll die that's what my first girlfriend said.
02:08
That's when I knew that I was,
02:09
I was gay. So it,
02:10
it, it took me on,
02:11
you know, a lot happens with his mother in this film
02:14
She becomes the high priestess and she gets all these tattoos
02:17
on her face and they don't explain it.
02:18
She looked like Takashi.
02:20
I was like, is his mother gonna drop a mix tape
02:22
What's going on with her?
02:23
I don't trust her.
02:24
And she reminds me of Lynn Spears.
02:26
What's that planet or Aan Narcan?
02:28
Where they all do fentaNYL?
02:30
I don't know the name of the planet.
02:31
It sounds like Narcan which you take when you need to be
02:33
resuscitated. And you know,
02:34
it's also wait to Austin butler who I didn't even know was
02:37
the bald guy who looks like he identified as Voldemort.
02:42
That was Austin Butler in the film and he was very
02:44
sexy, but here's the thing in the movie.
02:46
Kisses his uncle. But how,
02:48
what did you feel about that?
02:50
But it wasn't in like a like a kid.
02:51
Rock cracker barrel. Let's kiss behind the trailer park type of
02:55
way. It was a dying moment.
02:57
You know, I was sad and turned on it because
02:59
they're both bald. They're both har cons.
03:01
So I was scared and turned out,
03:02
I kind of felt like I was watching a chemotherapy porn.
03:05
Did you feel like the movie was over hyped?
03:08
Because everyone right now is talking about it like,
03:11
oh, you know,
03:11
dune two, it's like out of this world.
03:14
Like, what did you think it was overhyped?
03:15
I loved it. I have,
03:17
I, I tell you,
03:17
I paid 20 I would have paid 22 for the ticket.
03:20
That's how much I enjoyed it.
03:21
It was. And,
03:22
you know, just to sit there and be entertained when I
03:24
saw the movie was two hours and 45 minutes.
03:25
I was like, oh my God,
03:27
what all the things I could do but I enjoyed it and
03:29
did the person next to me have to fiddle their fingers through
03:31
the nerds rope every 10 seconds.
03:33
No, but shockingly the movie,
03:35
the movie flew by and I enjoyed it.
03:37
I'd go see it and I didn't like dune one but Dune
03:39
two, it's kinda like Shrek one and two.
03:42
Shrek two is better than Shrek one.
03:43
Well, I feel like it also dune one.
03:46
I mean, I haven't seen the second one but I feel
03:48
like it sets up for dune two.
03:50
You know how like if you're watching a series and it's like
03:53
they're introducing people. It's like,
03:55
and then it's like the foreplay for the real thing.
04:00
One was more of like the dry humping over the jeans and
04:04
and dune two was the penetration.
04:06
Ok. That was,
04:07
that was the set up for it.
04:09
Do you think Zendaya?
04:10
Because people were saying Zendaya could not hang with the other actors
04:14
Is that like what does that mean?
04:16
Like on set? I feel like on the movie people were
04:18
saying that, oh,
04:19
like I felt like she was acting and I love Zendaya.
04:22
I mean, me too.
04:24
Very attractive. She reminds me of the type of girl at
04:27
every summer camp. That's like I could do more push ups
04:29
than you. We're like,
04:30
who cares? Zendaya?
04:32
She just seems to smell like she's always like covered in dirt
04:34
Maybe it's just the movie and the sand.
04:36
But you know, in the movie,
04:37
Paul A K A Timothy Chalamet,
04:40
he chooses, he wants to marry the princess over Zendaya.
04:43
And people were like,
04:44
no, you know,
04:45
that's the better choice.
04:46
See, I would have went with the princess because she has
04:48
a lot of different head gear.
04:49
I could tell that she had was her own Etsy shop and
04:51
Ainan, whatever the planet is.
04:53
I could tell that she has an Etsy and she does shipping
04:55
to all the dusty places and,
04:57
and on the planet,
04:58
she had a lot of headpieces.
04:59
I would have chose her too.
05:01
And worms, the worms,
05:03
you love them or hate them.
05:05
Well, when I saw the huge worm come out,
05:08
you know, it remind me of the first time I saw
05:10
a penis under the bleachers in high school.
05:12
So it was jarring.
05:14
I was shivering and scared.
05:16
It took me back to that time.
05:17
They were hideous. Yeah.
05:20
They do look like they,
05:22
no, and, and people,
05:23
and then, and then they have to ride the worm.
05:25
Really? We, we got,
05:26
we got it. You sick.
05:27
But www Wait, wait,
05:28
wait, I, I can't believe I almost forgot this.
05:30
So, do you know the big June cups that they're giving
05:32
out? People are saying,
05:34
I hope I can say this.
05:36
It looks like a flashlight,
05:39
the, the, the people on X Twitter,
05:42
whatever it is. They're saying that the,
05:44
you know what I'm talking about,
05:45
the large people are putting the toys together.
05:48
This is what our Children remember the days of Fisher Price when
05:50
people used to play with easy bake ovens.
05:52
Not now, the dune cup looks like a rectum and it's
05:58
you can't tell me you make something like that and you're
06:00
like, oh, how could people think it looks like this
06:02
You know what?
06:03
And which, which group would you be a part of
06:06
the Freeman people or like the sand people or the Harkonen,
06:10
the Haren? Because I have,
06:12
I'm self conscious about losing my hair and I've always wanted to
06:15
be bald all over like a seal and up here and in
06:19
my no, no place.
06:20
So I feel like there'd be a lot less pressure and
06:23
you know, maybe I'll,
06:24
I'll kiss Austin butler and his uncle.
06:26
Maybe it'll be a group activity,
06:29
all the people, all the bald people,
06:30
Mr Clean. If you're watching,
06:32
meet me on Ainan.
06:35
Thank you. No,
06:36
thank you. Where can we find you rehab?
06:39
No, I you can find me on in you
06:43
can find me on Instagram and Twitter,
06:45
Nicky Paris beat, which is my confirmation name.
06:47
Thank you. Yeah,
06:49
thank you for having me,
06:50
Jenny. I had a lot of fun and go see Dune
00:00
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