Series

The thieves who stole my Hello Kitty credit card.

The first time as tragedy, the second time featuring Jenny Lorenzo.
Show transcript
00:00
Ok.
00:08
Hello everyone and welcome to Laura's corner.
00:11
I'm Lauda and this is my corner in today's episode.
00:14
We're gonna talk about that time that I got my phone stolen
00:17
out on purpose, obviously.
00:19
And then what I did about it, today's special guest is one of
00:22
my favorite collaborators of all time, Johnny Lorenzo.
00:25
But first A PS A warning in this video, I talk about my own personal
00:33
experience with getting my phone stolen.
00:34
I'm not telling you guys that it's ok to go after your perpetrator
00:38
I'm not telling you guys it's ok to steal phones.
00:41
On the contrary.
00:42
This is about me.
00:44
What about you?
00:46
I loved going clubbing in Miami in the early 2000 tens from
00:50
the DJ playing all of David Gatas.
00:52
Greatest hits to all of the and all their glory at the end of
00:57
a great night to myself included, of course, good times going
01:02
clubbing in Miami with my friends was the absolute best.
01:05
We were so sweet and encouraging to each other, right?
01:08
When we were getting ready, it was like a little aggressive
01:11
but like we liked it, you know, because we were just like you
01:14
are pure to fall and we believed it because we love each other
01:17
and we are cover girls.
01:20
It wasn't about hooking up with guys or anything like that
01:22
It was about dancing and having fun and being good and being
01:26
free.
01:26
It was like therapy for us but with stilettos and a shit ton
01:29
of alcohol.
01:30
Did I want to dance with guys?
01:31
No, not really because in Miami there's some creepy, creepy
01:34
guys.
01:34
We usually got into a small circle of girls to protect each
01:38
other from guys surprise attack, pumping us from behind.
01:41
We look like the Avengers assembled ready for action.
01:47
One time when I had first started going to college, we decided
01:50
to go to Fort Lauderdale.
01:51
Now if you're from Miami, then you know Fort Lauderdale is
01:54
a little, let's just say it's not Miami.
01:57
It was four of us girls and two platonic guy friends who we knew
02:01
didn't want anything to do with us.
02:02
We get to the club and the DJ is just killing it with the hits
02:05
just back to back bangers with songs like Florio.
02:09
Sometimes I get a good feeling during that song, I decide to
02:15
go to the bathroom so I go look for my purse and I can't find it
02:20
I remembered I had to find my phone app and so my girl, Jackie
02:23
let me her phone and I started looking, we saw my phone on the
02:27
app, the location said that it was still inside the club.
02:31
At one point I go up to the DJ and I'm like J DJ DJ, please.
02:35
Can you stop the music and see who has my phone?
02:37
Someone has my, with my phone.
02:39
And this man straight up, laughed in my face as if I was absolutely
02:42
insane to ask him to turn off pit bull featuring Usher.
02:45
At one point, my friend Jackie tells me, girl, your phone is
02:48
moving and it seems to be moving fast like it's in a car or something
02:51
My friend Ryan and Genaro, they're like, let's fucking follow
02:54
that car.
02:55
Avengers assemble.
02:58
We leave the club, jump in the car and start following the phone
03:02
It is a damn car chase.
03:04
All of a sudden the phone stops moving and we stop in front of
03:07
a taxicab in what seems like a nice neighborhood out of the
03:10
taxicab, come out 21 with a little throw up on her shirt.
03:16
And the second man that comes out has a bunch of purses around
03:20
his neck.
03:20
We are watching shocked and then this mother lover decides
03:25
to pay for the taxicab with money from my purse and I yell out
03:30
back my purse.
03:32
My friends Ryan and Genao get out of the car, take off their
03:36
shirts and start barking at these like who, who, who, who and
03:38
we all start screaming.
03:40
The girls get out of the car.
03:41
We're just causing chaos.
03:42
People are coming out of their houses.
03:44
They're like, oh my God.
03:48
And so I start calling 911 and my friends are shoving and pushing
03:51
these guys.
03:51
Like, what's up with you?
03:52
What's up with you?
03:53
What's up with you though?
03:53
What's up with you though?
03:54
When the police get there?
03:55
All the girls go up to the police, were they?
03:59
Then I go up to the guy who has my purse, I can't get from his neck
04:02
because I finally feel protected because the police is there
04:04
So I feel obsessed and I'm like, that's my purse and I hit with
04:08
it.
04:08
But then when I checked my purse, I saw that my phone was there
04:10
I mean his phone was there.
04:11
Be my hello, kitty credit card was missing.
04:14
So I had something else to complain about.
04:15
And I'm like, excuse me, excuse me.
04:17
And they're like, excuse me, ma'am, we're trying to talk to
04:18
the suspects and I'm like, yes, I know be they still have my
04:21
hello kitty credit card.
04:22
So then they start asking please, excuse me.
04:23
Do you have her?
04:24
Hello, kitty credit card?
04:25
And I'm just there like, so then the police just kind of take
04:29
me on the side and they're like, excuse me, they don't know
04:31
where your kitty credit card is.
04:33
What do you wanna do?
04:33
Do you want to press charges?
04:34
I don't know.
04:35
I just want my Hello kitty credit card back and then I start
04:38
thinking about it and I'm like, if I press charges I wanna ruin
04:41
these guys' life.
04:42
But if I don't, they're not gonna learn their lesson.
04:44
So I tell the police, excuse me, can y'all just scare them?
04:47
They were like Senora.
04:48
I mean, we had them in handcuffs.
04:49
I think they're scared enough.
04:50
I mean, I don't think these guys ever thought in the wildest
04:52
dreams that they would ever get caught by the find my phone
04:55
app.
04:55
The next day the bank calls me and tells me there's a weird charge
04:58
on my card.
04:59
And I'm like, yeah, no, I got my card stolen.
05:01
How much did they spend?
05:02
And they're like over $1000.
05:04
And I'm like, on what?
05:05
And they're like on drinks and I'm like, goddamn it.
05:08
I should have pressed charges on their ass.
05:09
And I'm like, OK, look, that wasn't me.
05:11
Can you send me another?
05:12
Hello, kitty credit card, please?
05:13
And they're like, oh sorry, that was a seasonal thing we don't
05:16
have anymore on this day.
05:21
I learned that when you go out clubbing, you need to keep your
05:23
friends close, but it'll keep your purse closer.
05:25
Now, let's go talk to Jenny and see what she's got stolen.
05:29
Today's guest is actor, writer, content creator and one of
05:32
my good friends Jenny.
05:35
Hello.
05:39
Come out, you.
05:42
Hello?
05:43
Thank you for having me being my guest.
05:48
Do you like my corner?
05:49
I love it.
05:50
It's very authentic.
05:51
This is very authentic.
05:53
Like a shit like cool.
05:56
It's cool.
05:57
Not a life.
05:57
It's a cool girl.
05:58
That's why I'm dressed like Jez today.
06:00
Me too.
06:01
Did you club in Miami?
06:03
First of all?
06:04
I mean, like, I know it looks like I partied hard.
06:06
Um, but I did, I went to a lot of clubs.
06:10
I love clubbing in Miami as y'all know.
06:13
Uh, do you have to though?
06:14
I do have to, I feel like it's part of it.
06:16
It's part of the culture, hipster, antisocial person.
06:20
You will, you will find a place for you.
06:22
Um Have you ever gotten anything stolen while clubbing you
06:25
or any or your friends or anything?
06:28
Because of course you have, it's like it, it has to have part
06:32
of it.
06:32
It's part of being a Miami and my then boyfriend who's not my
06:36
husband David.
06:37
We were walking around South Beach like club hopping on Halloween
06:43
and he was, it's like beetle juice and his phone got straight
06:47
up stolen like off of his person.
06:50
How did they do that, bro?
06:52
You know how Miami gets so packed during Halloween and like
06:55
any like we're like sardines walking down like Lincoln road
07:00
He doesn't know.
07:02
He just got, let me ask you something, Jenny, since you've
07:05
gotten a bunch of stuff stolen.
07:08
Do you think you'd be a good thief?
07:10
No.
07:11
Well, we're going to find out if you, are you not even though
07:14
you just said you weren't.
07:17
The name of the game is called Catch a Thief.
07:22
I'm gonna give you four chances to try to steal my phone.
07:25
Are you ready?
07:26
Yes.
07:26
Places everyone, Jenny, we're gonna start from there.
07:30
Great.
07:30
You already knew what to do.
07:36
Mimi.
07:37
Mimi.
07:37
You have to, where's your ID?
07:40
You have to bring your ID.
07:42
Mimi.
07:42
They're not gonna let you in without an ID girl.
07:46
She, I don't know where she is.
07:47
There's a lot of, oh, there's another girl.
07:49
Ok, cool.
07:50
Because at first there was a lot of guys in here.
07:52
Know what I'm saying?
07:52
Yeah.
07:54
00 my God, I oh my gosh.
07:58
Excuse me.
07:59
Excuse me.
08:00
Can you take a picture of us?
08:01
Oh my gosh, of course.
08:05
Sorry.
08:05
I decided to play snake.
08:06
Hold on a second.
08:07
Here we go.
08:09
Ready.
08:10
Thank you.
08:12
Super cute.
08:16
I'm so excited if we did you, my boyfriend.
08:19
Oh my God.
08:20
Oh my God guys guys.
08:22
She stole my phone.
08:23
Where's my?
08:24
Ok?
08:25
She took it.
08:26
Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on be me.
08:29
We're about to take shots, Mimi, we're taking shots.
08:32
Hold on, Mimi.
08:33
Hello.
08:34
We're gonna take a shot.
08:35
We're gonna take a shot without you.
08:36
When you come back, we're gonna take a shot with you.
08:38
Ok?
08:38
I love you.
08:41
Hello?
08:44
Oh wow.
08:46
Hi.
08:47
Excuse me.
08:47
Oh, excuse me.
08:49
It looked like my phone.
08:51
This thing.
08:52
Yeah, I was just here.
08:53
You didn't see me?
08:54
I don't think so.
08:56
Maybe I can't move.
08:57
I'm in the couch, I'm next to the guy.
08:59
Who's, that's passed out with glasses and the, and the girl
09:04
that's wearing Crocs.
09:05
I don't know.
09:06
I don't know.
09:07
I can't leave.
09:08
Just meet me here.
09:09
I'm in the sofa.
09:10
Excuse me?
09:11
Can I, can I borrow that really quick?
09:13
Come in.
09:16
There you go.
09:21
00 my gosh.
09:22
I'm so sorry.
09:23
Like I can't find my contacts.
09:26
You need help.
09:26
Excuse me?
09:27
Excuse me?
09:28
You need help.
09:29
Hi.
09:29
Excuse me, you need, sorry.
09:31
It's ok.
09:31
Where's my boyfriend?
09:32
I don't know.
09:33
She, she came from the curtain, she came from the curtain and
09:37
you're wearing socks?
09:41
Busted.
09:45
I just wanna say thank you to Jenny for playing with us tonight
09:50
You may not have gotten hold of my phone but you got a hold of
09:54
our hearts with that guitar.
09:56
I like clubbing in Miami.
10:00
It's a little hard to keep my phone from somebody stealing
10:06
it.
10:07
That's ok because now I hold onto my phone and nobody steals
10:12
it.
10:13
That's ok.
10:13
Jenny's man.
10:15
He got his phone stolen.
10:18
He was dressed as beetle juice and it wasn't phony.
10:22
Please stop stealing phones.
10:25
You are a creep.
10:26
If you are stealing phones, go to sleep out his corner.