Series

My Mom vs. Facebook

Five Ways to Clean Your Vagina.
Show transcript
00:06
Do you guys ever Google?
00:08
Um cool Facebook status to put on your own Facebook?
00:11
Yeah, me neither.
00:13
So almost everyone I know has Facebook from my 14 year old brother
00:18
to my 98 year old grandfather.
00:20
Everyone has one but no one loves Facebook more than my mother
00:24
yet.
00:24
She doesn't have one yet.
00:26
She knows about everyone's on Facebook.
00:28
She'll be like, hi and I'm like, how do you know about that post
00:35
How, where do you get your information from?
00:38
She'll be like, no, no, I was like, why don't you just go to Facebook
00:43
And then she says FBI and I'm like, what does that mean?
00:49
What, why is the FBI going after you?
00:51
Why do you think the FBI is going after you?
00:53
Now?
00:54
Everyone knows that the FBI does look at your Facebook.
00:56
It's obvious.
00:57
I mean, you have all your information on Facebook but still
01:00
I'm like, who cares?
01:01
Like everyone already has your information, just do it.
01:03
It's like, and I'm like, yes bitch, I will, I don't call my mom
01:09
a bitch.
01:10
Still my mom finds ways to lurk behind Facebook.
01:13
She'll stalk people and I'm just like how the hell does she
01:16
do it?
01:16
So, one day my stepdad messages me an article on five ways to
01:21
clean my vagina.
01:22
And I was like, that's weird because it's my step dad and it's
01:28
awkward.
01:29
So I call my mom and I'm like, hey, I got a weird message today
01:32
from my stepdad.
01:33
I don't know if he got spammed or something.
01:35
Like, he sent me an article how to keep my vagina clean.
01:37
And she's like, ah CCS F we and I'm like, what?
01:40
So that's how you know about people's cheese make.
01:42
She just goes on my stepdad's Facebook and she just looks at
01:46
everyone and stocks everyone and judges everyone because
01:49
that's really what she uses Facebook for my mom is like those
01:51
creepy dudes that hide in their houses and look at kids from
01:55
behind the windows.
01:57
That's my mom.
01:58
She just looks at people like this.
02:05
So when I heard that she's going on my step dad's Facebook,
02:08
obviously, I had to block my step dad.
02:10
A ka I blocking for real.
02:11
My mom.
02:12
So then what family members in Miami are like, my mom will be
02:17
like, and I'm like, why don't you get your own Facebook?
02:22
And when you get your own Facebook, you could look at all my
02:24
photos and she'll be like on Facebook and I'm like, where you
02:28
you ain't gonna look at my pictures in.
02:30
Let me know if your parents hide behind Facebook to be creeps
02:35
or if you're in the creep.
02:37
Let me know too.
02:38
Ok.
02:39
Um, thank you.
02:40
Good night.
02:41
Unless I post this in the morning.