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Sometimes I find it difficult to like, truly authenticate
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my experience as Hispanic.
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II, I know I'm very white passing.
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So I know I am Hispanic.
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Uh And I know I'm Cuban, but it feels less true.
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My name is Gabrielle Hagenlocker.
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I am 21 years old and my occupation is a college student.
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Um I understand you grew up in a mixed family, one parent, Latino
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one parent, not Latino.
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Um What was particularly interesting about that upbringing
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Um I noticed it was most noticeable, I think in like holidays
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and stuff like that.
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Um My Cuban family or my mother's side of the family was always
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I think they're only 15 minutes away.
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And I mean, it was a big party like my aunt would host and it was
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everybody's a cousin.
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I have no idea my relationship with any of them.
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They're all my cousins, they're all my uncles, they're all
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Um And that's just always how it's been uh with my dad's side
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I think I noticed in holidays it was very um a limited family
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or not like it was very um like I knew my relationship with everybody
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and like I knew, I don't know, I would see them less and, um,
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I don't know, like, it, it, I don't know quite how to describe
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I think in, like, with my Hispanic family it was just like,
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I mean, everybody knew my name.
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I, I didn't really know everybody's name.
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Everyone was just, like, so immediately warm and intimate
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Um, but I think my dad's side feels like a little bit more like
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diplomatic and everyone is like, it's like very formal.
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Um And it's really just like my cousin, my, my dad's two siblings
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they're my cousins and then my grandma and grandpa and then
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Um That's all I've really seen of them.
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I don't really know.
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And, and as you were coming up, how did you, how did you identify
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did you identify as more as one or the other 50 50?
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Like, where did that come from?
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Uh especially in Miami the way I identified definitely leaned
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more towards Hispanic, Cuban, other Cuban American.
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Um As I've kind of left Miami, I study in Tallahassee now.
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There aren't that many Hispanic people in Tallahassee.
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I feel like I've kind of lost my Spanish a little bit.
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Uh At least it's not where I wanted to be.
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And so I don't take as much pride in it anymore and it's a little
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there's a little shame in there.
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Um But I would probably lean more towards just like, II, I know
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I'm very white passing so I know I am Hispanic.
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Uh, and I know I'm Cuban but it feels less true.
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Does that make sense?
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Yeah, it does, it does.
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And I can see what you mean.
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I mean with that last name, right.
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You, you, you could pass for being that girl from Michigan
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Um, and with that last name, no, one sort of sees it sees it coming
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Um Has that been an advantage you think?
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Um I think it has allowed me to, I wouldn't necessarily describe
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I think it's allowed me to not necessarily think about it.
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Um especially because I do theater and I mean, I just created
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this like actor access profile and it's like, what is your
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And I'm like Hispanic.
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And so in that way, I like take some pride in it and I'm like,
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Um But there's definitely a moment of like, if I were genuinely
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to be cast in something like this or like take on a role or um
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I know my experience and I know it's not fully, sometimes I
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find it difficult to like, truly authenticate my experience
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as Hispanic even though I know it is because it's so interesting
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having such a Hispanic mother and uh growing up with such Hispanic
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traditions and I mean, even still like in the food in uh the
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style and the raising and the way my siblings and I talk to each
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other and I still talk to my mother in Spanish and I'm still
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Um And I think, I don't know if you find this in your family because
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I know you're also Cuban, but a part of my Cuban identity is
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like hating Cuba, which is really weird.
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Um And it's like Det Testament for Fidel Castro, um which I
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always find wildly hilarious.
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Um, but it's just a party.
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I don't know, it's fun.
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You, you just mentioned earlier, you get to fill out this profile
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You check off his family.
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That's one way, you know, the question was, is there any fear
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that that may lead to type casting?
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So whoever sees that?
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So if the role doesn't call for a Hispanic, maybe they overlook
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you and go to someone else when obviously you're fully capable
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of playing any role.
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Um, I don't know, I guess I haven't, I haven't thought about
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or experienced that fear necessarily in my, uh, collegiate
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I am entering the professional world very, very soon.
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And so I, I will keep that in mind, but I don't think I have like
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experience or had a moment of realization where I was like
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oh my God, I'm genuinely scared of doing this.
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You know, I, I take that back there was one moment in which,
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um I was called in for a film and the film was this um bilingual
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like Hispanic and also um white, like someone like me, like
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Um And I was reading the sides and I just, I practiced the Spanish
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over and over and over and over and over and over and over again
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And I was like, this is so cool that I'm doing something in my
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own, in my mother's language, like in my grandmother's language
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Um And I think the fear came from like, I must do this on her.
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Like I have to have like, am I putting on an accent?
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Is that inappropriate?
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Like my, my, the Cuban accent is like thoroughly in my, like
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Um So like, how do I compromise or reason with that um in my theatrical
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But I guess in musical theater, you don't really, at least
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not in my collegiate career.
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I've had a moment like that except for that one film, right
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Yeah, because you wonder, right?
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You hear these stories, you know, professionally, a lot of
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the casting tends to fall into the hands of people that don't
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necessarily look or sound like we do, right?
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And what I've heard for many, many years was that, oh, you're
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either not Latina enough or you're too Latina or Latino for
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Like that plays into choosing or passing on someone for a role
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I also um as you mentioned in the industry, I believe that there's
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something called branding and there's this type cast, this
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brand and a lot of people today are like the stereotype and
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typecasting is not a thing anymore.
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Uh But I still think there's an emotional attachment to it
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where it's like this is my history.
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This is like my story.
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This is my root and so much of our work is part of who we are.
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And um I think there is always that question of like, OK, I have
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I have a website like, is there, is this something I build into
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a part into like who I am because it is, but does it, is it valid
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Is it authentic enough?
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Like what does it mean?
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Um And I know some people who, I mean, I look German but some
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people who don't look German, um They like, um I don't, I don't
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know there like there's, you can't take off your skin color
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you know what I mean?
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And that is inherent and that is, it's a beautiful thing.
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Um My friend uh she's talked to me about it a little bit.
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She's like, I will never apologize for being black.
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I will never apologize for the color of my skin.
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I never want to be put in a position of it.
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I'm not sorry about it.
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And um so like, I, there's nothing I can do with it.
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It's, it's just such an interesting dialogue and, and path
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to pursue, especially in theater.
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But I, I think there's a new way of, of, um, considering colorblind
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casting and color conscious casting that I'm starting to
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see, especially in my generation.
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Um, I know we're taking stories.
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At least my school is doing 9 to 5 next semester and they're
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already like, there's only one character that has to be white
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and then everyone else is just like, it's color blind, which
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I think that like the institution of the vocabulary and the
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discussions about it I think are heading in an interesting
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direction that I'm excited to see.
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At least as someone who's just entering the industry.
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You know, I hear from a lot of, you know, a lot of people, not
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only your age but sort of your experience, right?
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This, this, this sort of first generation, this um um the issue
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of all you're, you're, you're not Latino enough if you don't
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speak Spanish or you're not really Latino if you.
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