00:00
When you smash a bad bitch, you get insecure and I think that's
00:02
what happened to him because he, you know, he realized that
00:05
a bad bitch likes you like in the moment and then when that moment
00:09
pass, that bad bitch is gonna do what bad bitches do?
00:17
What's good Mi Gente?
00:18
I'm Sasha Mercy and I'm Mr Seo and I'm Eric Rivera.
00:21
Welcome to three G's in the pod.
00:22
And in this episode, we have the very dope, the one and only
00:27
Clayton Thomas we got so much to talk about that's happening
00:35
right now that I'm so excited to tackle because we all going
00:38
through it right now.
00:44
I mean, as entertainers are you?
00:48
I thought you, I thought you were throwing our business out
00:52
We all going through it.
00:53
I feel like, yeah, I, I feel like it's so funny.
00:55
We have history of like when I was starting up, I felt like I
00:58
was uh this feels like I was the freshman and you were the senior
01:01
when I was coming in, I was at the uh Laugh Factory and they were
01:04
gonna give me that five minute spot and then uh they gave it
01:08
They're like, you just come next week and I'm like, OK, cool
01:10
Not you, not you, they just told me I just come next week, we
01:12
And I was like, cool.
01:13
And then thank God cause the guy, they're terrible.
01:16
And I've seen you roast this motherfucker so bad that I was
01:20
like, thank God I didn't go up and you were just, and it was one
01:24
of those like when you got everybody, it was cool.
01:27
But then you're like, nah nah and here's the thing with that
01:29
and, and like the way he said it with confidence, like, yo,
01:34
and I'm like, just roasting them.
01:36
And then I remember, I remember you were going so hard that
01:40
they were like the guy that was gonna go, I say keep going, like
01:43
You roast him for his other 10 minutes and a about the other
01:46
guy up and I remember going God damn.
01:48
I started roasting comedians, but I always wanted to be the
01:53
guy that would make fun of somebody and we could laugh together
01:56
as opposed to me making fun of you.
01:58
You know what I mean?
01:58
And uh but yeah, man, man, your memory in man, I was like, yeah
02:04
I'm never gonna forget that shit.
02:06
I remember I drove home.
02:07
I felt like I got roasted on.
02:09
I felt so like, damn, it was just like, yo, that guy that's cause
02:13
you see that's the thing and, and, and I'm being an old head
02:15
It's, I hear about these, these new guys, right?
02:17
They just go up there and these bombs like, yeah, it's whatever
02:19
to me, it was like, yo, you, you made me as your generation made
02:23
me feel like if you come in, I don't like how you aged Clayton
02:28
I know all about the same age that I was the youngest one out
02:34
here and my back hurting now anyways, but the point is is that
02:37
you guys made me feel like if you come here, you got to come,
02:39
correct, come here to hit.
02:41
Don't come here to just try things out and find yourself like
02:44
come here to work because when you're in L A man, this is the
02:47
this is still a showcase city beyond.
02:50
We're all able to create from the internet anywhere in the
02:53
But L A is still a showcase city is where you come, where people
02:56
are going to find you and be able to say that person is funny
03:00
So when I see comedians in L A just going up and just being like
03:03
oh whatever, I'm like, dude, do you know this is an opportunity
03:06
that people would kill for to be on a stage and people would
03:09
just be, you know, bullshit and it's crazy and it could it be
03:11
also like we do, we see that because we're coming from another
03:19
You know, because I've noticed some people that are from L
03:21
A just feel like, ah, I'll get them next time and it's like,
03:23
for us it's like, maybe we're fighting the clock because we're
03:28
like, we're trying to come back home, we're trying to, you
03:31
know, help everybody back out and it's like, we don't have
03:33
time to waste and I'm supposed to be home that that's what were
03:37
we supposed to be 12 years ago.
03:40
You know what I mean?
03:41
I was supposed to come out into L A for like two years and be gone
03:44
So what do you mean by that?
03:45
Do you mean like that?
03:46
You were planning to do your set and then land something big
03:50
and then be like, yo, I'm cashing in and going back when I got
03:54
So I moved to L A when I was 21.
03:57
And you couldn't tell me that I, I wouldn't have been a millionaire
04:02
in a year because in my mind, I was like, alright, great.
04:04
I'm going to go out there.
04:05
People are going to see me, they go see how funny I am.
04:07
And then I'm going to be on and I can just go back to Detroit,
04:10
love hearing the young comics, their game plan, a Comedy Central
04:14
special in six months and then I'm gonna hit HBO boom at the
04:18
end of the year and then boom it off.
04:19
And you're like, ok, that's the funny thing.
04:21
Yeah, because that was like, my thought too.
04:22
I was like, oh my God, I'm going to come, I'm going to do this
04:25
I'm going to do that and then I'm going to get a TV show and then
04:29
oh my God, I'm going to go back home and five years later I'm
04:32
You know what's crazy though when you came?
04:34
First of all, me even knowing about you, you were already a
04:38
star in my mind because I was like, and not even just, I just
04:42
saw deadline articles and you posting, oh, this show is coming
04:45
I was like, yo, ho how just amazing.
04:48
And then we were like, yeah, I've been out of L A four.
04:50
I'm like, yo, you've always been like, thank you.
04:55
I really appreciate that.
04:57
Well, that I, I really, I really do appreciate that because
04:59
like, you know, I, I didn't, you know, I started off on social
05:03
And social media, the reality of it is that I'm talking to myself
05:07
So getting on stage and learning what you guys already knew
05:12
I always, when I um approach stand up comedy and I knew what
05:17
I just always was like, I am not like I, I'm good but I'm not,
05:21
I knew how to give respects, unlike a lot of uh social media
05:27
influencers that are like, well, you know how many people
05:30
know me, you know, how many people know I am and it's just like
05:34
that's why to this day you seem, I don't wanna say motherfuckers
05:38
but all right, whatever you see motherfuckers who, um, who
05:42
have millions and millions and millions of followers trying
05:45
to get some stage time and they are the same people that go on
05:49
and then they just bomb and they go, well, I can get them next
05:52
You know what I mean?
05:53
And there, and there is like, I, I always try to give the respect
05:57
I always give the respect that I need to give for stand up comedy
05:59
because it is not easy.
06:01
You're dealing with so many uh so many variables that can change
06:04
while you're on stage.
06:05
I've seen Eric Handle it very well.
06:07
I've seen you like, everybody talks about don't sit, don't
06:10
sit down, don't sit down, doesn't doubt because um or whatever
06:15
it is that, you know, it feels like, oh, you're not, you're
06:17
you're, you're not respecting the audience and stuff like
06:20
But then when you do it, you crush it every time and you too,
06:23
like, I've seen all of you just go on stage and just really doesn't
06:27
matter who is in front of you guys, you crush it, you know.
06:30
So, and I'm still learning so much from you guys and seeing
06:34
that and being like, oh, that is definitely like I can write
06:37
but there's also how to be present, how to be on stage and like
06:40
how you were finding your voice of like something that irritates
06:43
you makes you funnier with me.
06:45
It's like, if I feel like my world is ending, that's what makes
06:49
You know what I'm saying?
06:50
I'm like, I have nothing to lose baby.
06:52
Like what the, and that's when I start like, finding my voice
06:55
in that you're a Phoenix.
06:57
I know you probably don't even follow us because I'm a DC guy
06:59
more than a Marvel dude.
07:00
But in Marvel comics, there's a character named Jean Gray
07:03
and she is also the Phoenix when she goes into this state of
07:08
almost psychosis or something that's happened for her to
07:11
She turns into this Phoenix and Phoenix is the most powerful
07:16
And when I see you on that stage, whenever you're going through
07:19
something and you just be like, fuck it.
07:24
But I'm learning that I didn't know that I would go on and be
07:26
like, hey guys, I'm, and then it was like recent where I'm like
07:31
yo, my life is over and I'm just like approaching it from that
07:34
angle and everyone's like that fucking bitch.
07:39
And there was one time that I was making a joke, nobody was laughing
07:43
So I turned around and I was talking to the wall and I was like
07:45
why am I doing this if you had to.
07:48
Nowadays I just feel like things are changing.
07:51
I'm envious of these new guys coming up because I'm like, the
07:55
fact that y'all can bomb and everything is ok.
08:00
I bombed, I wanted to go straight home now.
08:03
People are bombing at the comedy club and hanging out and I'm
08:05
like, why are you here?
08:06
Go in your car and cry like we all did.
08:08
I started in New York.
08:09
If you bombed and you stuck around the club, they wouldn't
08:12
let you go over that bomb.
08:13
That's what I'm saying.
08:15
I'm gonna go home, I'm going home.
08:17
That car ride home or that train ride home is the worst ride
08:20
because you just like, man, you know those candles were too
08:23
Like you're trying to come up with a reason why you bomb, you
08:26
know, because they didn't have it.
08:28
Like you trying to find a reason why you bomb when I was in crack
08:32
them up Thursday in that room, you guys were all just like,
08:34
hey, before the show started, everybody was cool.
08:37
Everyone was having a good time and when the guy bombed, he
08:39
never went back in that room.
08:40
He just like went home and I was like, you know, you do the right
08:42
thing and, but you know what it like, this is what I learned
08:46
Uh when you bomb, you gotta stay and this is why you gotta stay
08:50
Even if they roasting you or whatever.
08:53
Yeah, they respect you more because it's so easy to just get
08:55
in the car and go home because we all want to leave.
08:57
You don't think I want to leave every bomb.
09:00
But it's like, you'd be like, man, let me stay, let me, but I
09:03
don't like the comedians that stay in it and they'd be like
09:05
yeah, man, I probably should have, you'd be like, hey, we're
09:07
not going to talk about yourself.
09:09
Sit here and be uncomfortable and we can go from there.
09:13
I feel like it's a, it's a rule that they do not add to any jokes
09:17
You just sit there and chill every time they try to add it and
09:20
roast somebody else like, no, no, you're done.
09:21
You're done for the night you can stay, but you're done at all
09:24
I did a, I did a road gig with Robert Kelly.
09:26
Like he used to take me on the road with him and I remember we
09:28
did this club and I was opening for him.
09:31
I bombed, I'm bombing, I'm bombing like hard.
09:33
Like I could feel the sweat, you know, when you start feeling
09:35
the sweat forming in your head coming, I'm, I'm bombing, dude
09:40
So then I was like, I'm trying just to bring up, they finally
09:41
give me like, I'm gonna bring up a headline about, I bring him
09:44
I do this handshake and he just holds my hand.
09:46
You're gonna sit in the back and I want you to watch the show
09:50
I want you to sit in this bomb and he, and I sat there because
09:54
I was like, this is, he's never gonna have me open for him and
09:57
I just watched him just destroy this crowd.
09:59
So for him, it was like, no, no, you're not gonna make excuses
10:01
and blame the crowd.
10:02
I want you to see that.
10:04
It was you, it was you and then that that car ride home.
10:06
He's like how, how that feel.
10:08
And I was like, man, you know, it was just uh you been doing this
10:12
long and he was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I love those
10:15
headliners sitting in it.
10:16
I'm like damn well, I'm excited for more to talk about.
10:20
So we'll be back and when we get back from these commercial
10:23
breaks, we're going to talk about white people problems.
10:26
I'm glad I'm waiting for this.
10:27
Did you see that Jones Hill?
10:28
Text the DM that he sent his girl.
10:30
I really appreciate that.
10:31
He did do that because honestly you got to see crazy off back
10:35
Ok, we're back and we're going to be talking white people problems
10:40
My favorite segment.
10:41
A white people problems.
10:43
I mean, you're around them all the time.
10:46
You got the white man.
10:48
You got the Here's King Zest over here.
10:55
Yes, I'm telling you right now.
10:57
Welcome to the podcast coming at me like this.
11:01
So the Ceo Bob Iger said, said that the writers and actors union
11:07
going on a strike in Hollywood are not being realistic with
11:12
Let me tell you something.
11:13
Anyway, what is their expectations?
11:15
What are they asking for?
11:15
Did you want fair compensation, fair compensation?
11:21
I always felt like writers were always making money in the
11:25
I'm like we were always not eating and writers were always
11:29
eating writers, network writers.
11:34
And that's the thing the streaming streaming took over in
11:37
I want to say 2013 as far as what was the orange is the new black
11:41
was white, the first series called House of Card.
11:44
And when streaming took over their contracts are very different
11:48
because they could give you ultra s a low budget which meant
11:51
you're getting peanuts or your residuals aren't set up because
11:54
this is a new thing.
11:55
It wasn't like network or anything.
11:57
So streaming was so new that now people are like, yo, man, I
12:00
got a hit show on Netflix or Hulu or whatever and I'm not making
12:04
the money that you would think that I'm making from this hit
12:07
Let's renegotiate these contracts.
12:09
So that's what's going on with everybody.
12:12
And the interesting thing about that is that the networks
12:15
are sticking with the streamers instead of like having the
12:18
streamers have it figured out themselves because then you
12:21
can really alienate them in a way we're like fine then we won't
12:24
work with streaming services anymore.
12:25
We'll just work with networks, you know.
12:28
Um, but it just seems like they're sticking together as a conglomerate
12:31
and they're not trying to find a happy medium.
12:33
Another thing that really pisses me off is that now.
12:36
And, you know, Netflix is saying like, oh, you know, they,
12:39
they had that contract where it's kind of like, oh, we'll pay
12:41
you peanuts because we're a streaming service and we don't
12:44
know if we're gonna be here tomorrow, right?
12:46
You've been here long enough and you are putting commercials
12:50
So what's the problem?
12:52
You got commercials now?
12:54
You got ad money and subscription money.
12:57
And you know, like there's a lot of projects, there's certain
13:00
projects that I've done where I've, you know, done stuff and
13:03
I don't, I barely, I don't even get residuals for it.
13:05
You know what I mean?
13:06
And it's just like as a, as a um as a creator.
13:10
How do you, how do you live off that?
13:13
And I think that, you know, one thing that I do commend is that
13:17
the actors and the writers are sticking together and hopefully
13:21
there is a common ground where there is protection for actors
13:25
If you not protesting, you should start in 1000% because social
13:32
media is already a wild.
13:32
Wow, it's already a wild west right here real quick.
13:35
Somebody explained perpetuity it.
13:41
Let me tell you he's going to use that shit and not know what
13:47
Let me tell you something.
13:48
I was right at 13, I had perpetuity.
13:53
So you know what I mean?
13:54
I'll let you know right now.
13:55
I ain't got that problem.
13:56
He looked lost and then he repeated it.
13:58
That's why I, how would I use that in a sentence?
14:02
Perpetuity is forever, right?
14:05
So if I hire you so picture like this, hey man, do this comedy
14:10
Like bet, here's the rate we negotiate.
14:12
You're like, oh, I'm cool.
14:15
You sign a release form.
14:16
But on that release form, I can use this video of your performance
14:21
That means I can post this anywhere on any site forever and
14:25
not have to give you anything.
14:26
Let me tell you something right now.
14:27
That word came up three times in this contract when I signed
14:31
You motherfucker think you got me forever.
14:34
You got another thing coming, I stop him five times.
14:42
The ain't no perpetuity.
14:45
I sold a show separately.
14:47
I did a licensing deal for one of the shows that I had sold and
14:52
And I was like, hey, let's talk about that.
14:54
And they were like, oh, no, no, no, no.
14:55
It's just, and I'm like, well, let's have, it's just written
14:59
So I know exactly how long and it became for, like, a year and
15:02
And I'm like, I can do that and perpetuity on some life.
15:08
The contracts are, and you know what's so interesting?
15:10
They always, they always let me know contract.
15:14
So if you don't read it, it's kind of like, ends up being your
15:18
But it's like if you don't know and you're eager and all this
15:21
stuff you're gonna get screwed over.
15:22
Like, for example, the guy who did Squid games, oh, don't break
15:30
900 million views, I think.
15:33
You definitely got more than that.
15:35
Yeah, definitely more than that.
15:36
And you're telling me and you know, that's another thing that
15:38
streaming services do.
15:39
They don't even show you how many streams just so that they
15:43
That's, that's, that's messed up.
15:45
But if you own Netflix is it messed up?
15:49
I mean, if you own a motherfucking Netflix, is it messed up
15:59
I would like, let me tell you something.
16:00
You mother fio, you get out of my fucking because if it wasn't
16:06
for these creative minds, there would be no Netflix.
16:12
So paid if you know, then paid.
16:13
But aren't we starting our own shit?
16:15
We, everyone, aren't we doing our own thing?
16:18
Like with youtube dropping our own stuff, we're going that
16:22
The youtube still owns Well, the thing is that with youtube
16:27
wait, wait, hold on.
16:33
But youtube also pays you how much for every 1000 View?
16:36
They don't pay you a lot.
16:38
They don't do a lot, like $2 every 1000 View before it used to
16:40
be a lot of money and then it used to be.
16:42
Facebook pays the most.
16:43
But I will say that youtube does something that I haven't seen
16:47
any other company do and that is perpetuity.
16:52
You burned that out.
16:53
Let's say you make an amount of money on youtube in a month.
16:55
Let's say let's create the number being $15,000.
16:59
Let's say you make $15,000 you get a video that goes crazy and
17:03
the next month it's still at 15,000.
17:06
It's up to your decrease in content outtake, I mean output
17:14
Whereas other sites, if you post a video and let's say you make
17:16
even a million dollars when that next month starts on day one
17:20
it's zero and you got to work your way back up.
17:22
So youtube is at least good in that regard.
17:25
So what's going to happen?
17:26
Hold on before we stray too far.
17:28
The reason we want to bring up the Bob Iger thing is like Jesus
17:31
says writers are making money, not all writers are making
17:34
There's a certain few writers like you'll get the big Shonda
17:36
I'm not attacking her at all like creative content she's making
17:40
you know, there's like the and Ted Lasso, like those are the
17:45
big time writers, but there's also the writers in the room
17:48
the, the lower level writers who aren't making right now
17:52
on strike, not making any money.
17:53
So they're not, they're not paying their rent, nothing benefits
17:56
Like all of that's on hold right now.
17:58
So you got a guy like Bob Iger who's going like, oh, they're
18:01
being unrealistic and the longer the strike goes the worse
18:03
it gets for those guys.
18:05
Meanwhile, this dude just signed an extension for $30 million
18:08
to stay with Disney.
18:09
So who's unrealistic?
18:11
Like he's got the money, they got the money, these big networks
18:14
they gave in all the way and this is what I learned.
18:17
If they gave in to the writers and the actors every demand,
18:21
it still wouldn't affect their bottom line.
18:23
So right now you're dealing with greed, which is unfortunate
18:27
This is why, you know, trying to get to the moon.
18:29
You know what I mean?
18:29
They got their own little projects.
18:32
That's when it's like an excessive, that's when it's an excessive
18:36
of capitalism when it's like, it's excessive.
18:38
Like you can see it, it's so black and white where they're like
18:43
I am not going to give you nothing but it's like, bro, you're
18:47
not even coming up with the stories.
18:49
Do you think the more money you get the weirder you start getting
18:53
Because you don't have to come out of the house.
18:55
People get weird when you don't come out the house.
18:57
And then people just delivering stuff to you all the time.
19:00
Pandemic made all of us weird, bro.
19:04
I was going to go into that.
19:05
I'm going to jump into that uh Jonah Hill.
19:08
Did you see that Jonah Hill text?
19:10
Do you think that that money is the thing that made him?
19:12
Yeah, I think so because he's kind of a, I feel like he was like
19:16
a down to earth dude, you know what I mean?
19:18
And he was chubby going through this thing and he just felt
19:20
like no because keep it real that guy, he wasn't fucking, but
19:24
after super bad he was fucking, you know what I'm saying?
19:27
And he started like, you know, he obviously, you know, was
19:30
smashing but like when you smash a bad bitch, you get insecure
19:33
and I think that's what happened to him because he, you know
19:35
he realized that a bad bitch likes you like in the moment and
19:40
then when that moment pass, that bad bitch is gonna do what
19:43
you break your heart so many times that now he has a list of things
19:49
that he wants to point like I'm being real super bad.
19:55
He was a chubby kid striped shirt and now look at him, he's dressing
19:57
like a drug lord in Miami vice and he got his girl on the same
20:01
He looks like a lesbian that moved to Hawaii.
20:03
Let me tell you right here.
20:08
You are a married man.
20:08
You and your wife ever wear mattress just like him too.
20:11
Now that I, you know what, they didn't even just match in color
20:16
it's the exact outfit he should have put on the list.
20:18
Like if you can't wear the same stuff I'm wearing can't even
20:22
be smells like sunscreen.
20:25
But you know what I was saying?
20:26
Well, and maybe some of the comments might rip me up for this
20:29
But what I do appreciate is that he has a list and no, I do appreciate
20:33
that because if I'm dating him and he has that list, I'm gonna
20:36
No, thank you black.
20:38
Then I'm not, I'm not your partner because right there he says
20:41
He and if you need surfing with men boundary list, inappropriate
20:48
friendships with men to model to post pictures of yourself
20:52
in a bathing suit, to post sexual pictures, friendships with
20:56
women who are in unstable places and from your wild recent
20:59
past beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful
21:03
I am not the right partner for you.
21:05
We can't be friends, girl.
21:07
See, that's what I'm saying, like, but that's what, that's
21:10
You know how many times has this happened to him?
21:12
Hold on, let me just say something.
21:14
Let me say something.
21:15
He said surfing with men.
21:16
Let me say they already in the water or they going together
21:18
you gotta, you gotta clarify that.
21:21
Let me say something.
21:22
What I appreciate about this text message is that a lot of men
21:26
don't do this, right?
21:28
So the women are in these relationships suffering for long
21:31
periods of time because out of nowhere, he'll just be like
21:34
he'll just start an argument with you because of this.
21:37
That and the third and you're in this miserable relationship
21:39
because you think it's gonna change or you think it's gonna
21:42
He's saying I'm not gonna change.
21:45
And if this is not the, the, the cult that you wanna be part of
21:51
You know what I'm saying?
21:51
You're giving me the option to walk away.
21:54
I'm like, that's a red flag.
21:56
I don't want anything to do with you versus a lot of dudes.
22:00
They, you know, that's how they manipulate.
22:01
They gaslight, they say, oh no, I never said this on and they
22:05
and then you're suffering for years versus, versus getting
22:08
a text where you're like, I'm crazy.
22:10
But uh yeah, dude, that guy is a wild insecure dude.
22:13
You know, because when I saw him, I was like, damn, I went through
22:15
the same shit in middle school.
22:18
You know what I'm saying?
22:18
Like II I sent that message in middle school but it's like,
22:21
I'm also not a fan of people screenshotting, bro.
22:24
Like he approached her knowing that she's a surfer.
22:29
That's what I was a surfer and a model because those are the
22:32
two things up there that I was like, wait, was she modeling
22:34
and surfing before you, you met her as a surfer and a model?
22:43
What would your Jonah Hill list be, be honest because you don't
22:54
I know you was crazy.
22:55
We got to clip that up.
23:00
She said what I needed and then she evil laughed.
23:06
You don't want to see me mad.
23:09
I knew you was full of shit.
23:11
I see the craziness when I fucking you walk.
23:13
She was hitting us with Ted talk hands like she was like, listen
23:16
I'm educated, I'm stable and she just the mad that I am is like
23:23
you've never existed and that could never be the incredible
23:31
No, I'm not giving you my list because then you're going to
23:33
sit there and make fun of the list.
23:35
It's just say that shit.
23:39
If it's just say that it has an accent, it's like and I need you
23:43
to um what I need is what type of lotion you use.
23:48
I feel like I apologize ct I apologize for my girl.
23:55
I can what I fucking hate that if it's a problem, say it's a problem
24:02
don't act like it ain't a problem.
24:04
In and I hear that shit like a week ago and I'm like, why we could
24:08
have fixed it back then and why are you building it up?
24:11
This is why it wasn't fucking because of this problem that
24:13
I could have fixed and we could have fucked that day.
24:16
So please, please, if there's a problem, speak up, be an adult
24:19
and just speak up through it because one of my love languages
24:23
is words of affirmation.
24:25
So it's like it's got to be words of affirmation that.
24:28
Oh look at your shoes, your shoes are amazing.
24:33
What did you say it?
24:35
Words of positive affirmations of positive.
24:37
He takes that to me because is going home, going home.
24:44
Can I get affirmation in perpetuity?
24:47
He goes, where's the positive?
24:48
Where's the positive?
24:49
No, he said words of affirmation.
24:51
Words of affirmation.
24:52
Let me tell you something right now.
24:53
That's what I've been saying.
24:54
That's all I've been asking for.
24:55
Thank you for saying that.
24:56
Can I get a compliment to this motherfucker?
24:59
Like you know what I mean?
24:59
Can I get a a that was good.
25:01
I need, I need that.
25:02
I need someone to tell me in perpetuity.
25:05
Oh You made that, that was delicious.
25:06
My girl be walking out like the sandwich wasn't good.
25:09
I did you like the the sandwich?
25:11
She was just like, OK, what the fuck does mean?
25:15
And that just fucks with me.
25:16
I need a fucking, that was I need words like amazing.
25:19
The best I've ever had.
25:22
Another story we got is Kiki Palmer's boyfriend.
25:25
Let me tell you something.
25:26
He don't even have a name.
25:30
I don't know what's going on, what's happening with this.
25:32
So Kiki Palmer was on stage with Usher in Vegas.
25:37
I want to see a picture if you guys have it.
25:38
Do we have the video of him singing to her?
25:43
That may be their favorite.
25:45
I've seen some skinny girls, good kids and they come out with
25:47
like 80% of them are, you know what I'm saying?
25:50
I'm like now you got the right way.
25:54
She's on stage with him, Usher singing to her.
25:57
She got an outfit that's a little revealing but it's not like
25:59
she's not looking trashy.
26:01
No elegant as always.
26:03
She had them cheeks showing.
26:04
That's the only difference I need to see cheeks.
26:06
So there's the outfit right there and I think she posts all
26:09
She shows that one and then she shows a little but I need to see
26:13
it all I'll say is this right?
26:15
And he comments under it.
26:17
Thank you for, let me tell you something when you post a comment
26:20
after something like that.
26:21
That's when you know she's still on his mind the day after he
26:25
had an issue with it.
26:27
Damn, they weren't out.
26:33
I didn't know the truck was that big.
26:36
I sure is feeling right there.
26:43
And then the boyfriend had some issues about it and he went
26:47
He didn't call her, he didn't text her online.
26:50
He said, look at this.
26:52
He said, what did he say?
26:54
He was like, you're a mother but you're a mother.
26:58
The outfit though, you're a mother.
27:01
And it was like, yo, come on, man, first and foremost, as a man
27:06
As a man beyond if you have a child with this woman or not, if
27:10
you were in a relationship with a woman, you do not go online
27:15
to publicly embarrass or say anything against your woman
27:20
That is a conversation reserved for you guys in private at
27:24
So for him to have said that was extremely disgusting.
27:27
Uh It was also come on, man, this woman gave you a child and you
27:31
about to just say this in front of the world to see that annoyed
27:36
How would you handle that?
27:38
Every Latino I want to talk to him.
27:43
Latino dads that go inside of the room and they hear it inside
27:46
the house, you know what I mean?
27:46
But outside their own, they be cool and shit.
27:51
Have a good time to have a drunk wife.
27:53
Like I was like, OK, that's when you know she fucked up.
27:57
When he starts telling everybody it's OK.
27:59
Good bye to everybody.
28:00
Come down because when I get home, he's here, the next party
28:05
he's over there for a Jehovah witness Latinos will do that
28:10
We do not publicly throw our shit.
28:12
Remember as a kid getting who we'd be out in public.
28:15
I like come and take this dressing room and you like OK, what
28:18
are we trying something wrong?
28:20
You know what it was to the dressing room?
28:21
You had to be quiet because she didn't want anybody here and
28:24
you just had to come out like you didn't get jazz.
28:26
But you know what I think what happened was he, they had, he
28:29
had the discussion at the house.
28:30
He felt like nobody, he wasn't being heard.
28:32
She wasn't listening to him.
28:33
He was like, hey, why are you wearing that?
28:34
He was like, oh why are you insecure at that?
28:36
And he felt so frustrated.
28:37
He was in the bathroom like I gotta put this online and that's
28:40
probably what happened.
28:41
You don't own this woman, bro.
28:42
Like even if you were a lot of people were like, yo, you saying
28:45
this and she's the mother of your child, but she's not your
28:47
wife, even if she was his wife, he doesn't own her.
28:51
So it's like there's a way to handle every situation.
28:55
You think he was cool as she was leaving like, oh girl, you look
28:58
good and what bothered him was Usher just like, that's what
29:04
I ain't going to lie if I saw that pose in my girl's picture and
29:06
then he was doing Usher was, I would have been a little nervous
29:10
but that's when you get uncomfortable.
29:12
Are you ready for this?
29:13
I'm uncomfortable if my girl is wearing that and Usher doesn't
29:17
choose to sing to her.
29:18
That's what I'm like, I make a bad decision.
29:23
Picked my girl to sing to.
29:28
If he didn't write anything, everybody would have forgotten
29:30
about it because how many times has Beyonce worn something
29:34
And Jay Z don't be like you're a mom.
29:36
If Usher would have danced on her and she would have reached
29:39
for his dick or something like that or did something on him
29:44
and tried to kiss him or whatever.
29:46
Then it's like, hey baby girl, you know what I mean?
29:49
But this was innocent, Usher was respectful.
29:51
Your lady was respectful.
29:52
She didn't lift up the, the dress to show the cheeks, cheeks
29:57
And you got this audacity.
30:00
Listen, if you never would have tweeted anything, nobody
30:03
would have been talking about it.
30:04
It would have been like, oh, she looked great.
30:06
She went to, she went to Usher's party.
30:09
After this commercial break, we're going to come back and
30:11
we're gonna have so two of the week.
30:13
All right, stick around.
30:15
So I said I'm gonna get my revenge and the whole time I'm like
30:18
I'm gonna kick him in the fucking chest.
30:21
I just don't know when he's in it.
30:23
Everybody's cheering him on and I just fucking deliver a kick
30:26
and he just like, he couldn't breathe and everybody's like
30:29
what the fuck y'all?
30:30
Welcome back and right away, we're gonna jump right straight
30:34
My favorite segment.
30:35
Uh This is the Silver tooth kid of the week.
30:38
Do you know what silver do you know about silver tooth kids
30:41
You know, you know what's up, man?
30:42
You've seen these kids, these kids who just have, you know
30:48
everyone who has any kid that has, that is a wild boy.
30:51
Oh You know what I mean?
30:53
Uh I was one of those kids so much sense.
30:58
I think he was not surprised though.
30:59
He said, yeah, yeah, I was fifth grade movie teachers.
31:02
All kinds of shit, man.
31:08
Check this first of all, it's already starting off in a headlock
31:12
We got two silver two.
31:13
We got a two for one.
31:17
Look at, he's crying, look at his face.
31:21
That's my childhood right there, dude.
31:22
All my cousins who, that's what he gets, that's what he gets
31:28
I mean, come on, we've all had that one relative who was trying
31:31
to play with us like that and then we just had enough.
31:34
You know, we just had enough and we smacked the shit out there
31:39
But let me tell you, he's a better man than my cousin.
31:42
My cousins would whoop my ass.
31:43
Well, no, he knows the cameras on him.
31:45
That's why he's smiling.
31:47
I'm gonna get his ass once that camera's down, he's going to
31:50
whoop that kid's ass.
31:52
Look at the face right there.
31:54
He's like, I'm not doing nothing.
31:55
He's like get off me.
31:56
So my cousin, we would play video games, we play Mario Kart
31:59
since Nintendo 64 right?
32:01
And he would just like when I would beat him, he was older.
32:04
So he didn't like the fact that I was like, I was just focused
32:07
I didn't talk to anybody.
32:08
I was in, you know what I mean?
32:09
I was just fucking trying to beat him cause like he kept winning
32:11
He always did that cheat when you go up the hill and then he just
32:14
I'm like fucking, I finally got it and he missed it and I'm beating
32:18
I'm getting excited and in one of those, he just fucking just
32:21
covers my face and they, they're covering my face and I'm just
32:23
like, ah no, and I look up, by the time I look up, I lost.
32:28
So I was like, all right, so I passed the control pass like,
32:30
hey, the next, next, you know I was like, so I said, I'm gonna
32:33
get my revenge and the whole time I'm like, I'm gonna kick him
32:37
in the fucking chest.
32:38
I just don't know when, I don't know how he's, he's in the floor
32:43
I'm like, fucking what uh third grade maybe.
32:45
Anyway, he was like in middle school, you know what I mean?
32:47
And he was crisscross applesauce.
32:48
So I was like, I'm gonna, I'm close to the door to the exit.
32:52
I'm gonna kick the shit out of his fucking chest and then run
32:56
I just didn't know when I'm waiting for the right time.
32:59
Everybody's cheering him on and I'm just waiting and I just
33:02
fucking delivered a kick and where the air out like, you know
33:05
like, and he just like, you couldn't breathe and everybody's
33:10
like, what the fuck I run out and I just, you know, I'm passing
33:15
my uncle's hopping over everybody drinking and say, hey,
33:17
what happened to what happened?
33:18
And then you see him run out, grabbing his chest.
33:21
We never snitched on each other or you know, the adults grab
33:24
us like, hey, what's going on?
33:25
And we're like, no, nothing, no, we're just playing tag.
33:28
It's like, oh let them be.
33:29
He fucking caught up to me.
33:30
He whooped my ass so bad, he spit in my face.
33:35
They took like, you know, little nuggets and they would put
33:38
it in my forehead and they would just slap me around and this
33:43
happened every time we hung out.
33:45
He wouldn't let it go for like a week.
33:46
Let me ask you this.
33:47
Tell me, was he a therapist in your mind before you decided
33:54
Did an option ever come across your mind and say let me also
33:58
cover his eyes back.
33:59
No, because I wanted pain.
34:02
I wanted, I wanted a punch.
34:04
It was like, no, this is, this is violence now.
34:07
It's like fuck the eyes.
34:08
This is like years of abuse.
34:10
You know what I mean?
34:11
I'm going to hit him and it was like AJ Claude Van Damme kick
34:14
You know what I mean?
34:15
It was one of those that it was just like, and then this motherfucker
34:18
just got hit in the chest and I just, and I was like, and I'll
34:23
run, my head is like run so in real life it was so much.
34:28
But it's like even to this day, like when we're in like get togethers
34:32
there's still like this weird tension between us because
34:34
he kicked him in the fucking chest and then he'll never forget
34:37
Even though he's done more stuff than me, he's farted in my
34:39
face, pinned me down so much to you right now.
34:43
So you telling me that after a while you just beat you up?
34:46
That's what happened because you know what that kick was,
34:50
what is he doing right now?
34:55
What's he doing right now with his life?
34:58
He's serving the country so I'm afraid of it.
35:00
We got the right guy serving the country over there fucking
35:03
pinning people over there and fight in their faces now, thank
35:06
God, we got the right guy.
35:10
I got you because you're a comedian.
35:14
He's got good posture.
35:15
I'm starting to see where the hate is coming from.
35:16
It's a guy with good posture so maybe I can date both as the ass
35:26
I mean, you never got back at an older cousin bulling you.
35:28
Well, here's the thing, man.
35:30
All my cousins were girls.
35:32
I'm like the only boy in my family.
35:34
So like I had to find a different way to get back at girls like
35:37
they would break my toys and I would literally try and think
35:40
of ways to get back at them and then I had a growth spurt and they
35:44
just became nice, but I still had the damage done.
35:47
So I'm like, I can't do anything but I wish I could have done
35:51
Did you ever get like the whole like you got to go chaperone
35:55
No, because they were older than me.
35:56
So I had to be um when boys start coming around, they would ask
36:00
me to lie for them or whatever.
36:02
And you know, when you're the chubby kid, you just want snacks
36:05
you're like, all right, bring me something back to eat.
36:07
You know what I mean, ok, so I would have cookies and shit.
36:09
But other than that, no, wait, so they were older than you and
36:12
they would break your toys.
36:14
I had a green Ranger toy and they broke the leg.
36:22
But you've got to remember 10 and 13 is a big difference.
36:26
I never heard of girls being like, look at my little brother
36:30
Let me break his toy because my sisters would have been so caught
36:37
Like they would just be like, I don't even have time for.
36:38
Those were my cousins, my older sister, she didn't.
36:41
So this is when I visited my dad for the summer.
36:43
So it was like my older stepsister, my cousin and that, yeah
36:48
but if this was my sister, she beat for you, dude, I would torture
36:55
I would torture them and they do the whole, like everybody
36:58
remember back in the day when the boy band were out and all the
37:01
cousins were mimic or do the dance that they see in the boy band
37:05
videos, they do the dance and they do like a show like the whole
37:08
like, you know, the hangouts, the barbecues, right?
37:11
One of them has a CD.
37:12
So they'll just rehearse and practice and my job was to ruin
37:19
Who made this your job?
37:21
I made this my job because there's something about happiness
37:24
I just wanted to ruin.
37:25
I was just like, yo, why are they having such a great time?
37:27
And no one's thinking about doing this.
37:31
So I would just be the, and he was looking at, ok, so I'm going
37:35
to hire you to get my little cousins involved.
37:38
I'm like, we're going to press the once a week or twice a week
37:41
I do my demon but I, I didn't get invited to a couple of weddings
37:46
You know what I mean?
37:48
But yeah, man, it was fun.
37:50
I had a childhood, Eric, not like you that talked to himself
37:53
What are you talking about?
37:54
You look like a childhood hit him right in the chest and it was
37:58
What kind of childhood is this?
38:00
My child does not sound like a good childhood.
38:03
Oh Don't X out check what's coming up after this commercial
38:06
So the way that you handle a bad chick is act like you've been
38:11
You got to act like this is not your first one and uh they will
38:16
All right, we're going to go off to the next segment.
38:19
My favorite segment called Pedro, that's where we answer
38:21
listen to mail comments.
38:22
D MS, texts, whatever you send in.
38:24
And luckily we got expert CT with us in the house.
38:28
We don't know what the hell we, there we go.
38:38
We give advice and sometimes it's good advice.
38:40
Sometimes it's not, but we don't claim to be expert so you could
38:43
take it with a grain of salt.
38:47
I just broke up with my boyfriend of seven years.
38:52
No, I kid, I'm kidding.
38:54
I had to say, I'm sorry, sorry, I'm just kidding.
38:58
I am friends with a lot of his friends and don't want to lose
39:01
them in the process.
39:03
What's the of a breakup, threesome question you had before
39:07
But ok, this one, what are the rules of a breakup nowadays,
39:13
Like are you when you're done?
39:15
You're done with everything about her, right?
39:16
Her friends that hang out, everything is gone, right?
39:20
Is that how you see it?
39:22
You got, I mean, here's the thing, like if you, if you guys are
39:25
broken up, you gotta kiss them friends.
39:27
Goodbye because as you said, they're his friends as well.
39:30
So it's like yo just start with your fresh lake, hit the friends
39:33
and he wouldn't let you hang around when y'all were together
39:35
It's the same thing as a family.
39:36
Like if you break up with someone and you were dating them,
39:40
you have to get rid of the family.
39:41
I mean, there's sometimes where it's, there's some relationships
39:46
with people who are still friends with family and stuff like
39:48
that but it's not common, it's not a common thing.
39:50
Like, it's mostly like you break up with that, you break up
39:54
But there's a lot of people that stay in relationships because
39:56
they love the family more.
39:58
I was, I was not ready to leave this one girl and I just, because
40:03
No, for the friends like I just, I just wanted them to want to
40:08
I would, we all had that break up where I didn't want to break
40:11
And this person was like, yeah, I'm just not seeing eye to eye
40:14
and I'm like, bitch, you're not and we can get glasses like
40:17
Like you see eye to eye and then so I didn't, I wasn't ready to
40:21
This is the first break up that I wasn't ready to her window
40:25
It was something like that so we can work it out.
40:28
I uh would go stalk her a little bit and just be like follow her
40:31
at work and she's like we just need to talk.
40:33
She's not answering the message, just just talk to me.
40:36
It was like uh and the more she pushed me away, the more I was
40:39
like, yo, I need to talk just yo, yo, this is like Latino hitch
40:43
like don't tell you, they tell you.
40:44
And so I was like, all right, bitch, if you're not gonna talk
40:47
to me, I'm going to be friends with your friends so I'm gonna
40:51
force to be around your world and I was in my Yeah, I'm not saying
40:55
it wasn't just the girls that do that though.
40:59
You know, they keep saying that men and women are so different
41:01
but this is like such a woman thing, Women do this stuff.
41:04
She's just a girl to do the same thing as women.
41:11
I was going to say thank you for saying that I was 20 years old
41:15
So no, let me tell you something, right?
41:21
Let me just talk to you.
41:23
Let me, let me just explain.
41:27
Can we talk, please?
41:31
So thirsty it was better going into your room and fucking writing
41:37
That's exactly what you probably did.
41:40
You hurt you, you hurt me.
41:42
No one hurt you, you hurt me.
41:45
If you see a picture of her, you fucking your shit yourself
41:49
It was one of those.
41:51
Was it your first one?
41:54
You know it was the first one.
41:55
It's like they got to teach classes on your first bad bitch
41:59
That's the thing people don't understand.
42:02
So here's the thing when you say it, I'll tell you the first
42:06
bad bitch that I had and I'll tell you the rules.
42:08
The first bad one I had was out here in LA.
42:13
She was maybe 33 but she had money.
42:19
She had one of the, so she was the first woman that she was like
42:22
yo, I'm at De Madre on which is a very pricey hotel at the time
42:26
And I went to the hotel and we had fun and then the next day she
42:30
went to work and it was $100 bill on my pants.
42:33
And I was like, hey, you left some money.
42:35
You made money on my pants.
42:37
She was like, oh yeah, that's just for you to get a cab home.
42:39
I was like little do you know bitch, I'm getting on the bus and
42:42
pocketing the rest of the walking $100.
42:45
But when she ended things, it was so abrupt, she was going through
42:48
stuff in her life, I think lost a close family member.
42:51
And during that time I didn't know how to be there for her.
42:54
I wanted to be, but I had never really experienced loss.
42:56
So anyway, we stopped kicking and I was just like, hey, what's
43:01
And she was like, hey, I'm busy but you know, we'll catch up
43:04
at some point and I'm like, I don't think we're going to catch
43:06
up at some point what's going on.
43:07
You just don't know.
43:09
So the way that you handle a bad chick is act like you've been
43:14
You got to act like this is not your first one and they will sense
43:19
Also, like, I think it should be, uh, just know this isn't forever
43:24
GF while is there just don't.
43:26
The thing is you think?
43:27
That's Velma, the one I, I stopped talking to friends.
43:30
I'm focusing on this like I'm giving her whatever she wants
43:32
It's like not just enjoy it.
43:33
This ain't forever when she stops answering.
43:39
You know what I mean?
43:40
You got some video so you can live.
43:42
You know what I mean?
43:43
Something you can look by and be like this became a therapy
43:46
He Yeah, it took me a while.
43:48
It took me a couple of years to fucking delete all those videos
43:51
I'm like I gotta delete this sex tape.
43:55
Russell wasn't going to let it go.
43:56
I'm like, no, I following this bitch way too much.
43:57
That's it is the same for guys.
44:00
Is it the same for guys?
44:02
Like a hot like a 10?
44:04
Like if you're dating an NBA player?
44:07
Honestly, I'm so bad.
44:12
You've got some good thing.
44:13
You're just like, ok, so, ok, cool.
44:15
I get it like, yeah, you're busy.
44:17
You know, I, I'm going to be honest with you.
44:19
Um, I grew up with six.
44:20
I know, I keep saying that it's like a broken record but I, my
44:24
brothers were like a very attractive men and I've seen women
44:28
like how they were like, oh, like, I remember seeing my brothers
44:33
just get women to do things a certain way that when I would see
44:37
an attractive dude, it wouldn't register to me because my
44:42
brothers were like the dudes that girls were going like, I'm
44:45
talking about some girl was stalking my brother for 10 years
44:50
I'm talking about, I'm talking about a girl lit a door on fire
44:54
for one of my other brothers, I'm talking, this is what I'm
44:57
talking about like and the girls just thought that they were
45:00
good looking and I was like, ew if this is what good looking
45:02
men do and I'm related to these motherfuckers, it never really
45:07
So you're not with good looking dudes.
45:09
I do get with good looking dudes but I never like, well, I'm
45:13
in a relationship right now.
45:14
Not a good looking dude, but he's not a good looking dude.
45:16
He good looking dude.
45:18
You just an MLK speech like I don't see good look.
45:22
I see the content of their character, whoop his ass.
45:25
I can whoop his ass.
45:27
No, I'm just saying like, dating wise, I was just like, I would
45:30
kind of be like, whatever about it and then I had to block somebody
45:35
because they were stalking me.
45:36
You wouldn't find you out in the streets.
45:40
You know, that's another thing.
45:42
Really beautiful women.
45:46
P if you want to get with me, ok, you got to be in some big event
45:52
or some exclusive house party to meet really beautiful women
45:58
outside of like, oh she's at a gas station to be around bad chicks
46:02
You've got to be around other bad chicks.
46:03
It's like the episode of Seinfeld.
46:04
You've got to be invited into that and you're not just going
46:07
to see a Sasha in the wild and you ain't never been to the Bronx
46:16
Yes, they might look like me.
46:17
They might look like me but they will cut you and they will beat
46:21
I will not date them in the acting world.
46:23
There are some very beautiful women.
46:26
But yes, but when you get into the social media world, they
46:32
eclipse these actors.
46:33
So it's like an 80% difference on how beautiful these regular
46:41
women are that you would never run into if you weren't in that
46:47
Yeah, I mean, if you, if you just watch CT sketches, I would
46:50
tell them this is what I would deal with though.
46:53
I would deal with dudes that I already knew like they were like
46:56
or like, you know where dudes that didn't only have me and they
47:01
were like, trying to act like, no, you're the only one, you're
47:03
the only, I'm like, bro, why are you lying?
47:05
Like that would piss me off.
47:06
I'm like, bro, can we just chill and have a, no, no, no, that's
47:09
that's, I'm just, I'm just smashing you.
47:15
I'm like, bro, that's smashing you.
47:20
I'm like, yo, I can take other people.
47:24
No, no, no, no, you, I like you.
47:26
And then that's the thing.
47:27
That's when it's like now you're lying, right?
47:29
Those are the same dudes that wake up and their car is slash
47:32
Those are the same dudes that wake up and see that something
47:34
happened because you're lying.
47:36
I'm just going to be like, all right, I'm just going to walk
47:38
I'm just gonna Sasha just admitted to crime allegedly allegedly
47:47
You know, I just get better.
47:50
The truth of my, a lot of men can't be honest because what a lot
47:55
of us crave are different things.
47:57
There is some we've been with say that again, we can't because
48:01
we want different things.
48:03
So I'll just think about myself myself.
48:07
I need you to love me.
48:09
I need you to be infatuated with me.
48:12
And that only comes, well, obviously, I'm an adult man and
48:16
I'm married, but it's like before it, and it's like I had gotten
48:18
to a point where I evolved into telling the truth.
48:20
But before that you lie because you're like, if I tell you that
48:25
you're one of many, you're not going to give me the love and
48:28
attention that I need from you.
48:30
But if I make you feel like you're the only one, you'll give
48:33
So that's why a lot to do.
48:35
That's why you hit him with the list.
48:37
Like Jonah Hill said, I need you to love me.
48:40
I need you to care for me.
48:42
I need you to do all these things.
48:44
We are going off on a tangent.
48:46
This poor person needs advice, the rules of a breakup and now
48:50
Listen, the advice is a bitch.
48:52
Let go of everybody, everybody.
48:56
So that is it for our episode before these two spiral out of
49:00
Uh Hey, you got two big words to work on today.
49:06
Thank you to Clay Thomas for coming by CTCT.
49:14
This was really fun.
49:15
Can you tell people where they can find you?
49:19
CT is dope on everything at CT is dope.
49:22
Check out the Patreon come over there.
49:24
I'm posting everything and anything.
49:26
I'm starting a new podcast called Flower Sessions where I'm
49:29
giving people their flowers for different things that they've
49:32
done that have impacted my life.
49:34
So my first guest is my high school drama teacher.
49:38
Yeah, that's beautiful.
49:40
Thank you guys for tuning in.
49:42
If you like the episode.
49:42
Make sure you hit that like button.
49:46
Come on, let's get the word out and let's keep spreading the
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